Retardism on Crack
by HappyBlushCalayapie
Summary: A series of drabbles for the characters. It will be gross, have cussing, and be, in-general, just like the show. Give me a review, and then give me a word, and I may use that word and do a chapter.
1. Panties

Title: Retardism on Crack

Anime: Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

Chapter 1: Panties

"Panty, have you seen my puddi— what the fuck are you _doing_?!" Stocking said, walking into Panty's room, which smelled of moldy pizza and sex.

The blonde was sniffing a pair of her panties, most likely the pair she had worn that day. Panty stopped sniffing and looked at her younger sister.

"Chill out. After a day of good work, it pays to get a whiff of a job well done." The blonde smirked and breathed in her natural scent deeply.

"I'm assuming you mean all the fucks you got today, right? That's just _gross_. Some of the smells in those panties don't even _belong_ to you."

"Hell yeah, they don't all belong to me! This guy named Rick—or Bob, possibly Steve—gave me an enema, cleaned me out, filled my ass with his cum three times, and then licked my pussy for thirty straight minutes. I've got TONS of cum in my panties that's mine, and other people's."

"Shit, you're disgusting. I don't even know how we're related!"

"We're angels and both have blue eyes is all I can gather."

"I'm just glad I don't have stds like _you_."

"Fuck you, cunt! Just like how you have that freaky ability to send all of your weight to your tits, I can fuck with everyone on Earth and still be clean, and never get pregnant even without protection. It's a bitchin'-epic gift." she picked up a piece of questionable-looking food and popped it in her mouth. Stocking wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"I'm _so_ glad I'll never fuck you." Stocking said, disturbed and grateful as she watched Panty chew rudely, showing all the food in her mouth before swallowing. Her sister replied,

"You better believe it!"

.X.O.X.O.X.

**That's the end of drabble one. None of these drabbles will be connected unless I say so. Tell me what you thought of this chapter, and then give me a word to do a drabble for the next chapter :)**


	2. Dick

Title: Retardism on Crack

Anime: Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

Chapter 2: Dick

"Stockin', what the fuck!" Panty stormed burst into the room. The goth was on the internet, looking at sweets recipes.

"What happened to _you_? You came back a lot faster than I expected. Guy not a good enough fuck?"

"Bitch, I've _never_ met a fuck bad enough to ditch. Not yet, anyway, and I've fucked _hundreds_ of guys!"

"Well then, what's got your panties in a twist?"

"I met this 13-inch dude, and I didn't get it!" the younger angel quit surfing the web.

"Holy shit! Wait, how the hell does _Panty Anarchy_ get turned down? You open your legs for everyone!"

"I know, right? I'm just trying to figure out what the fuck went wrong…"

"Well, tell me what happened, and maybe we can figure it out. Or, I might be able to since you're so retarded, you lost a 13-inch cock."

"Shut up! It went down like this…"

_The guy took his pants off, and he was hung like a horse, something that Panty had never been lucky enough to see in real life._

_"Whoa, motherfucker! That's the biggest dick I've ever seen in my LIFE! It's godlike! Or, close to godlike… if God had a dick, it might be bigger, but MAN!" Panty said._

"…And then the dude said, 'I fucking HATE you!' and ran home crying like a baby to his mom." The blonde finished.

"Wow… wait, to his _mom_?"

"I didn't know he was living in her basement, okay! We met up at the Immoral Hotel! It's not like we'd do it at his house… And I found out by tailing him to his house. He was hugging this old woman and crying, and she was comforting him. It was gross. Glad I didn't fuck him just for that reason, but I'm still upset I didn't get nailed by that dick of his…"

"Ever figure the reason he was upset is because you said God's dick is bigger?" Stocking suggested.

"I'm SO mad at God right now…"

.X.O.X.O.X.

**I didn't like using "God" like this (I'm a Christian), but I thought the idea was funny, so I wrote a second drabble tonight. Still, tell me how you liked the chapter, and then give me a word to do a drabble for the next chapter :)**


	3. Fuck

Title: Retardism on Crack

Anime: Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

Chapter 3: Fuck

Stocking was eating really good vanilla pudding when Panty came in the room.

"Stockin', I don't get how like that shit. I mean, it looks like the gunk that just came out into my panties just now!"

Stocking spat out her pudding in shock, causing a smug grin to appear on her older sister's face.

"GOD! What the fuck was that for you ungrateful cunt?! That's the most disgusting thing I ever heard!"

"Nah, that ain't the most disgusting thing you ever heard. If you like, I can top that with something me and Frank did the other day. So, he took his cock and—"

"No, no, NO! I don't wanna hear it! And how can you like some of the disgusting tings you do with guys?!"

"When you're super horny, EVERYTHING'S good. Come on. You're not a virgin, so you get it… right?"

"I may not be a virgin, but I'm not a freak like _you_."

"Fine Miss Hot Thang. Tell me about your best fuck. Do it."

"How 'bout we start with worst and go from there? I can pinpoint my worst _real_ quick. It's what makes me turn to sugar instead of _meat_."

"Alrighty then. Tell me." Panty sat down in front of her, legs spread as if she didn't care who saw her cum-soaked panties from her last fuck.

"This guy. This loser who looked _super_ hot. He like… oh gross, it was the worst!"

"Too advanced for ya?" Panty asked, popping some gum in her mouth.

"No. He had a lot of action before, but I can't figure out how, and I was a new-b. He whips his tiny little prick out and it's like, what, this big?" the goth held her fingers apart a short distance. "He never got it in me, and I wouldn't _let_ him."

"Meanie. It's called, stick it up your ass! Even that tiny thing might have been big enough for your ass."

"Listen, whore. You can't get stds, but he had _thousands_, which is probably why we had shrunk down so much. He also looked like he'd NEVER washed that specific area, and he had blistered… I think I saw bite marks from creatures… and there was blood, and SHIT, and it had boil and looked kind of purple and—"

Panty smacked her hand over Stocking's mouth to silence her.

"Okay, alright! I won't say gross things while you're eating ever again."

"Thank you."

"You're fucking welcome…"

.X.O.X.O.X.

**I decided to update with something. I was in the mood to write PSG stuff, so here you go! Third chapter! Gimme a word, some reviews… gimme good stuff :)**


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